• What if  all women were bigger and stronger than you and thought they were smarter 
• What if  women were the ones who started wars 
• What if  too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos and no K-Y Jelly 
• What if the state trooper  who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike was a woman and carried a gun 
• What if the ability to menstruate was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs 
• What if  your attractiveness to women depended on the size of your penis 
• What if  every time women saw you they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands 
• What if  women were always making jokes about how ugly penises are and how bad sperm tastes 
• What if you had to explain what’s wrong with your car to big sweaty women with greasy hands who stared at your crotch in a garage where you are surrounded by posters of naked men with hard-ons 
• What if men’s magazines featured cover photos of 14-year-old boys with socks stucked into the front of their jeans and articles like: “How to tell if your wife is unfaithful” or “What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate” or “The truth about impotence” 
• What if the doctor who examined your prostate was a woman and called you “Honey” 
• What if you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath as she insisted that sleeping with her was part of the job 
• What if you couldn’t get away because the company dress code required you wear shoes designed to keep you from running 

And what if after all that women still wanted you to love them.

- Carol Diehl

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